Biting my lip so hard till it hurts, I do not know what to do anymore.Keeping up at this world would require all of my no so considerable energy. It hurts so much that tears of rage roll off as it were raining, this feeling of utter disappointment and intense hate for myself. Everything i do seems to not change this stale, damp place. They say that change is good, but what good is change if it comes once in a fucking while? Or never at all? This world and the one in my head are two polar opposites, and i doubt anybody would be willing to negotiate this broken and mad wasteland to find me. Therefore i guess it would be suffice to say i am an island. How does one person degenerate to such an extent? How does love go through a wall? Maybe that is why i grow so attached to films about relationships., because i know i will never be able to have one. I am not emotional. I just am very full angst. Tomorrow may be better, but today definitely isn't.